If you’re needing a reminder that you’re kickass, this one’s for you!!! This is also probably the cheesiest thing I’ve written, but every word is true and important.

No one else’s energy, personality, looks, passions, goals, talents, style, humor, etcetera takes away from your own uniqueness. You are special in every way because you are you. Everyone else is special in every way because they are them. Your partners, your friends, your family, love you for you, even with your flaws, triggers, traumas, stubbornness, insecurities. If you lose connections with friends, family, or partners, it wasn’t because that relationship needed something better, it needed something different. Of course, we can all be better, and accountability is a vital step to healing and growth, but stop belittling yourself because there are people who can fill a specific gap better than you. There will always be someone in the world who is better than you at a specific task or essence. But their strengths and weaknesses make them who they are, and the same goes for me, and for you. Each one of us has something special to offer the world—just by our being.

Jealousy is a scary path, especially in terms of romantic partnerships. And maybe I’m naïve, but nine times out of ten, I don’t think our partners want anybody else. They connect with our energy, our love, our quirks, our dreams, our fears. Yes, there’s hotter, cooler, happier, more talented people. But they aren’t you—and your partner likely wants you, the kaleidoscope of you. Maybe your partner is looking for something different, but that doesn't mean what you provide isn’t sacred. You’re the full package, just maybe not for them. Our partners play many roles, and I’m still not sure how to reduce pressure on them, but we can start by trusting the idea that our partners intentionally continue to choose us at our core.

In friendships, it can be easy to feel like you’re unwanted or replaceable. No offense, but this is probably true. Think about yourself—you turn to different friends for different things. You know who to call when shit hits the fan, when you need advice, when you want to party, when you want an adventure, when you need downtime, when you want some company while getting work done. It’s not about your friend per se, it’s about what you’re looking for at that moment. Different friends are seeking you for an assortment of needs and reasons too. It’s ok if you can’t fill every need for each of your friends, but clearly, you are providing value in the interactions you have with them.

We can choose to lead our lives believing that others are hotter, better, cooler, sicker, kinder, etc. We can continually put ourselves down by thinking we’re not enough and resent others for the positive qualities they provide. Or we can respect and accept that what we provide is unique and amazing. We can radiate our specialness and enjoy the connections that are created by those who recognize and appreciate what we offer. I challenge us to lead with confidence and gratitude. I guarantee it will make a difference in how we show up in our current relationships and how we manifest future ones.

Conversation Starters:

• Any other tips on overcoming jealousy and self-doubt?

• Does this sound like BS or do you think it’s valid?

Resources/Inspiration/Additional Research:

• “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” -Unknown